Bunny Teaser

Sheenah Archive, Writing Advice 0 Comments

Seeing my adorable rabbit, Rex, in his cage and a rather funny scene in Tangled where Rapunzel overreacts to a movement in a bushes and later finds out it’s a rabbit made me remember an old collaboration I did in high school. My friend and I were both voracious writers and we were both working on vastly different YA fantasy projects. I always thought her idea was cooler because it incorporated Irish mythology whereas I built my own mythology and pulled out my hair trying to make it a believable religion.

I can’t remember who brought up the idea, but we decided to do a crossover of both of our stories. We were basically writing our own fanfiction, but I must admit, it helped immensely with getting to know my four main characters. Though our stories were adventurous, epic fantasies, we wanted this crossover to be fun. A place where our characters could relax and be outrageous and show off another side of their personality that would probably never see the light of day in our actual novel.

There were plenty of conversations where we wondered if we let someone else read this crossover, would they get our humor? And thus, I’m blowing the digital dust off this forgotten project. Why? Because I will now present to you a hilariously written (again, I’m not sure if anyone else will find this funny) scene that involves rabbits. Remember: this scene was written way before we ever heard of  Tangled and I can’t even remember who said it’d be funny to do this scene. Either way, enjoy!

Just a note about this scene: our two main characters, Brigit and Kaia have ended up together after a party of bandits captured their guardians and took them to King Whelan’s castle. They thought Catrina was Brigit and the men in the party were her guardians. So now Brigit and Kaia have to band together to rescue the people who usually rescue them! And Brigit isn’t too happy about the situation…

“Um, hey,” called a voice over on Brigit’s right. She looked up to see that girl from the other party. “I know that we didn’t exactly get off on the right foot back there, but under the current circumstances, I require your assistance in finding my friends again. And since you’re from this world I—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” waved Brigit, cutting her off. “You require my assistance? Like I’ve some random helpful villager who’s going to lead you to Whelan’s castle? That you’re the only person here that’s been ditched?”

“Well, I didn’t exactly say it like that—”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m all alone too…” her voice broke off and she buried her face in her arms.

Kaia looked at the poor dejected girl. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly as she came around and hugged her.

“Don’t touch me!” she yelled, pushing her away. “I don’t need your sympathy. Just leave me alone.” They were both quiet for a moment before Brigit broke it with a wail. “Why did he have to steal that statue? That idiot! He didn’t even tell me why he stole it anyway—”

Wait. A statue? “What was the statue of?” asked Kaia, wondering if maybe this was the statue that had the item in it.

Brigit lifted her face and glared at her. “Why are you still here?”

“Look,” reasoned Kaia, adopting a soft voice, which only pissed Brigit off more. “We need to stick together. Both of our guardians were taken to the same place I’m sure. Why don’t we search for them together?”

“Because you’re annoying to me. Can’t the Chosen One be able to find her little buddies by herself?”

Kaia was starting to lose her patience with her, but nevertheless, she still felt sorry for her. She must not handle desperate situations well. “No. I’m not as brilliant as Cat thinks I am. I have no clue what I’m doing and it’s not like its fun to have the fate of the world resting on me. You understand, right?”

Brigit rubbed her eyes, getting angry at Kaia for making her feel guilty. She shouldn’t be mad at Kaia. She wasn’t the one who stole the statue.

This is all Bres’s fault.

“Yeah,” said Brigit standing up. “Its all his fault.”

“Whose fault?” asked Kaia, confused.

Brigit could feel her rage burning in her. If only she could channel that energy into…She smacked her wrists together and fire erupted out of her palms. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” exclaimed Brigit, punching the air.

Kaia stared warily at Brigit. “Since when could you do that?”

Brigit looked over at her. “Since forever! I told you that I was the beautiful, great, all powerful goddess!” She waited for Kaia’s awed reaction.

“Oh.” she replied simply. “I guess you really were powerful…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Kaia answered quickly. “It’s just that…you didn’t seem too powerful before. But since you truly are, then you really can help me! So, will you?”

Brigit sighed, not liking her decision, but it was sort of her fault that she got her and her friends mixed up in their business. “Fine,” she agreed, holding out her hand to help Kaia up. “Alright. So,” started Brigit looking around. “I was thinking that the road isn’t an option, because we would have the risk of running into the Lord’s troops. We should head back into town so we can buy your staff back.”

“I was thinking perhaps—” But Kaia was cut off from a loud noise that came from deeper in the woods.

“What was that?” whispered Brigit, darting nervous glances at their surroundings.

BOOM!

Brigit, scared, grabbed Kaia close to her. “Maybe you should, you know,” she pushed Kaia in front of her. “Lead the way.”

“Are you kidding? You’re the ‘all powerful goddess’ here, with the fire power and all. You’re more suited for this than me!” And with that, Kaia pushed Brigit ahead.

Brigit cautiously crept her way into the forest, hands at the ready in case someone or something popped out. “Are you watching?”

“I’m watching.”

“Because I don’t want you just pressing into my back. You have to be my eyes now. I can’t see what’s behind me.”

“I know—”

BOOM!

They both screamed in surprise.

“Is it just me, or-or-or is that booming coming closer?”

“Lets hope its just you,” Kaia whispered. “Keep moving.”

They continued along, pausing at every sound, only moving a few feet from where they started. A rabbit even bounced out of the bushes causing Brigit to panic and torched the poor thing. Kaia wasn’t too happy with that.

“Look what you did!”

“Its not like I meant to do it!”

“I bet he has a family, too!”

Had a family…”

“Now that’s just intensive!”

“To the rabbit? Come on! Its not like they’re an endangered species—”

“That’s not that point! I—”

“Shhh!” waved Brigit, hearing something. For sure this time, it belonged to something very close by. “Sounds like footsteps.”

Peering around a thick oak tree, Kaia and Brigit saw a rather large group of soldiers coming their way.

“Why are they still here?” muttered Brigit.

Kaia sighed. “I’m starting to think that maybe you should start explaining exactly what’s going on.”

“Now? Because honesty, I’m really not sure either.”

“No, not now, but whenever we get away from these guys.”

Brigit watched them. From what she could tell, they were searching for something, probably for her, but they weren’t doing a good job at it. Most of them were covered in head to toe armor, clanking around, stirring up the whole forest. Apparently, no one taught them discreetness, as she saw them tumbling around, hacking bushes with swords before giving it a satisfactory nod, as if agreeing that nobody was in it. It was actually a wonder how Kaia and Brigit haven’t heard them sooner. She assumed that they were also responsible for the loud noises they were hearing earlier.

“We need a distraction.”

“Why?”

“So we can get away.”

“Oh.” Kaia was quiet. “So. Got any ideas?”

Brigit looked back at the dead rabbit. “Only one.”

With the rabbit in her hand, Brigit stepped out from the cover of the oak tree.

“You can’t be serious,” objected Kaia. “You can’t even throw it that far.”

“I wasn’t on the softball team back home for nothing.” And with a mighty fling, the rabbit sailed through the air, hitting all the low hanging branches and landed with a thud on a soldier’s head, knocking him over.

“Holy cow! What was that?” exclaimed on the soldiers, running over to his companion. “Was that a rabbit?” He picked up the blacked corpse.

“Don’t touch it! It’s dangerous! It attacked me, it did!”

“What kind of rabbit would attack a person from the air?”

“’Tis one of them new breeds o’l rabbit,” said another solider, knowingly, even though he didn’t really.

“Really?”

“Well, look at it!” He pushed his visor up to get a better glance. “’Tis blackened to the bone it is! Probably from the Horned One ‘imself.”

“The devil?” gasped the solider that was hit. “And he chose me?” He started to panic. “Am I going to die?”

“Not if we kill the Satan spawn!” proclaimed the second solider, unsheathing his sword dramatically, but he did it too fast and he ended up dropping it, but it had its effect on the others nevertheless, and they all crowded in a circle around the rabbit and stabbed it in turns, crying out, “Death to evil!”

“Man, they’re dumb,” whispered Brigit, watching this. “How could they of taken out five of our guardians in two seconds?”

“I don’t know, but lets move it along before they see us.”

“Hey!” they heard someone call. “Where did our horses go? Anyone know?”

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